Take a deep breath and ask yourself “Is it REALLY ok to be happy?”
Although we may initially scoff at this simple question, many of us don’t believe we “get to” be happy.
Staying in the cycle of unconsciously expecting life to be difficult and happiness a state of conditions can look like this:
*Consistently forgoing our desires for the happiness of others.
*Reaching a goal and rather than celebrating, looking at the next.
*Planning for “one day” and not allowing ourselves to see past the obstacles to allow our desires to flow in the present.
*Feeling joy, yet feeling embarrassed or cautious when we share.
*When reminded of a desire, we think of the past and limitations rather than the future and the creative ways to make our desire a reality in the present.
*Staying stuck being busy so long our “happiness” is completed tasks or even the silence that follows.
*Things consistently on the verge of almost working out.
*Lack of dreams and desires.
*Believing the higher you are the harder you fall.
Sometimes our happiness becomes questioned even when we DO experience it. We confuse happiness with the absence of the inner battle of what we should want. To desire freely, and pursue “just because” still gets to be a worthy desire to pursue.
“Does this experience REALLY make me happy or does the lack of confusion make me happy?”
… However… if we were to get really deep and honest with ourselves how often do we hold back or happiness to the comfort of others?
Especially in the world today with her so many people struggling and suffering.
You become like the five people you hang around most. Of the people you hang around the most, how many allow themselves bliss? Eventually, their ease or restriction of happiness will rub off on you. (Yes, you can be a positive influence, but you will be more tired combating someone that is obliviously content with misery… just saying.)
Our unhappiness often starts by not allowing ourselves to EXPRESS our happiness and our joy, without feeling judged or hindered by it. Anything that’s constantly suppressed will eventually disappear and over time, be so buried that we won’t be able to sense the smallest existence. If we do experience it, it feels awkward because it is no longer “normal” to feel.
In conversations with friends and clients, I have often heard joyful news prefaced with, “Well I don’t want to brag about my life, but I would like to share…”
What do you love most about your life right now? What is working out for you? If your optimism is an irritation to others it may be a sign that you’re in an unhealthy emotional relationship.
Most people LOVE hearing positive experiences because it creates hope for our own experiences.
Friends, if you feel like you’re bragging then make sure the conversation is balanced. Make sure you are allowing both voices to be heard. Authentically complementing and openly asking other people about their choice and their joy will keep the negative voices and influences from shouting that you should not share happiness.
Emotionally healthy people celebrate one another’s happiness. Even if we’re having a time of struggle, knowing that somebody else is experiencing joy in life gives us hope that we will once again experience joy in our lives.
I have even noticed this try to pop up in my own life. 2020 has been a rough year for many of us. For me, it has been a challenge filled with much joy.
(Perhaps this was because I have experienced previous years with much more pain and trauma so I was already trained how to handle when it feels like the whole world is ending! )
This year, I’ve been able to slow my pace down. I’ve been able to connect with people I’ve been able to navigate with the most important in my life. Some of us have not been so fortunate and it has been difficult, even unbearable.
There have been moments among my single friends, I felt myself hesitate for a split second to share the joy of my relationship with a loving partner because of the ASSUMED lonely reminders it would create.
…and then I would remind myself that people LOVE sharing joy, especially empaths. (We can feel the good stuff just as easily as the bad stuff!)
It gives us hope and light to see another’s bliss and does not take anything away from those that share.
Here’s a thought, if somebody is truly unhappy at your happiness you’re probably not in a healthy relationship with them.
If you are struggling with how to feel happiness again, get to the bottom of why it’s not okay. You can journal it out by starting with, “I cannot be happy because _________” and continue until there are no more reasons to allow the happiness in.
(I can also assist with this process if you need support in finding your blocks!)
Next time you meditate or do yoga I invite you to utilize the mantra, “I embrace allowing myself to feel happy at my highest potential” Notice how you feel inside when you state this phrase. Does it instill hope? Light? Does it spark creative juices of how you can bring more light into your life? Lean into it and let your body and mind get on the same path once again.
We all need your light and your joy more than we need your sorrows. We can get plenty of sorrow from the rest of the world, happiness can be hard to see nowadays, so if you have small glimpses of yours please don’t hide them, rather, announce them to the world so we all can be inspired by you!